Remember when you were little and every Christmas your entire family (mom, dad, aunts, uncles, grandparents, etc.) asked you over and over for your wish list? And your parents probably stood in line for an outrageous amount of time at some overly crowded shopping mall just so you could tell Santa what you wanted.
That’s how Christmas happened in my family, at least. Beginning Thanksgiving Day, my aunts and grandmother started pressing us children for gift ideas. My cousins and I would spew these elaborate suggestions thinking we were doing our elders a favor by telling them exactly what we wanted. We were making Christmas fool proof for them.
Now that I am grown and have a home of my own, my aunts still ask me what I want for Christmas each year, but for some reason when I hit a certain age it no longer felt appropriate to present to my family — even though they ask for it — an actual list of things I want. I usually respond to their question with, “Oh, you don’t have to get me anything.”
Really, Hali? You know good and well that they are going to give you presents whether or not you tell them what you want.
However, I of course still prepare a list in my head of the most desired and elaborate items I can imagine receiving, and in doing so I have come to realize that my wishes haven’t really changed since becoming an adult. Remarkably, I desire the same things I did as a child, but those items happen to be real and far more expensive than their toy counterparts.
Disclaimer: Please keep in mind that this list is meant to be humorous at times, and I by no means expect someone to gift me any of the following items. Please laugh a little and remind yourself that you, too, probably have a similar Christmas list made in your mind.
Barbie’s Dreamhouse has become Hali’s Dream House
As a little girl, I wanted the Barbie Dreamhouse so badly Christmas after Christmas. As an adult, I understand why I never received one. Those suckers are expensive.
Obviously, now that I am entering my late-20s, the Barbie Dreamhouse is no longer at the top of my list. However, Hali’s dream ranch home with a fenced-in backyard and open floor plan most definitely is.
If someone bought me one of the houses I have saved on Zillow, I wouldn’t be mad at ya. We live in a two-bedroom townhouse now that doesn’t exactly provide us with the space we desire to grow our family. A 2,000-square-foot new construction would be perfect and is most definitely at the top of our adult wish list.
Go ahead, wrap it up, stick a big red bow on it, and tell me when to move in.
Power Wheels Barbie Jeep has become a Toyota 4Runner
Apparently, I really loved all things Barbie as a child. I did have a Power Wheels Barbie Jeep, though. It was a hand-me-down from my older cousin and Santa parked it right in front of our tree one Christmas. I had so much fun rolling that thing across our gravel driveway and over the hills that surrounded our house.
I am a grown woman now. Well, most days I am. Fake it ’til you make it, right? While I am not above rolling through my current neighborhood in a Power Wheels Jeep Wrangler, I would prefer a brand-new, fully loaded Toyota 4Runner in metallic gray. Please and thank you.
Play Money has become Real Money and/or Gift Cards
I remember asking for and receiving a toy cash register complete with pretend money one year. It was perfect for all those fake transactions I made using my pretend grocery store set-up.
Play money way nice, but come to find out, real dollars are better. I can spend real money on real food at the real grocery store. Or, I can use real money to pay my very real bills. The possibilities are endless.
A Stuffed Animal has become a Real Puppy or Kitten
I spent years begging Justin for a Christmas puppy before he finally agreed — we got Lucy just after the holidays at the beginning of 2016. I suppose she’s not really a traditional “Christmas puppy” since Justin didn’t stuff her in a box for me to unwrap on Christmas morning, but it was Christmas Day 2015 when he told me we could get another dog.
Thinking back on my Christmases as a child of the ’90s, there isn’t a year that went by that I didn’t receive some type of stuffed animal, especially those Ty Beanie Baby creatures people went nuts over. If I asked for it, I got it.
If life was still that easy I would have a new living puppy or kitten every week. In fact, I thought Justin’s head would explode when I asked if we could adopt another cat for Christmas this year. According to him we are maxed out on animals. Perhaps if someone buys us that big new house I mentioned earlier, Justin would be more inclined to agree to another pet or two. Maybe then I’ll get that horse I’ve always wanted.
For now, though, I am content with my two dogs, one cat, and the several hundred Ty Beanie Babies I have stashed away. Those have to be worth some real money by now, don’t they?
A Toy Kitchen has become a Remodeled Kitchen
I vividly recall the Christmas I received my Fisher Price play kitchen. My face lit up when I stumbled into our living room early that morning, wiping the sleep from my eyes, and caught my first glimpse of my new kitchen with its bright yellow and blue accessories. One side of the toy was a range and oven complete with plastic knobs while the other side held a sink, microwave, and refrigerator. My little kitchen even had a big red phone attached to one end so I could “gossip” with my friends — just like my mama did.
If I were to wake up on Christmas morning this year, stumble down the stairs of our townhouse, and open my eyes to find Santa’s elves building me a new kitchen, my face might just light up the way it did on that Christmas morning 22 years ago.
How awesome would it be to have soft-close drawers and a refrigerator that was made within the last decade? Ah, a girl can dream can’t she?
Dress-Up Jewelry has become Real Jewelry
This one is a no-brainer. I am a woman, of course I desire pretty things to wear.
When I was a little girl I didn’t even have to ask for dress-up outfits and jewelry. Folks just assumed that’s what I wanted, and I must admit that they were not wrong. I adored lining my fingers with gaudy plastic rings and sticking those hideous “earring” stickers to my lobes. As ugly as they were, though, those things made me feel pretty and feminine, even at a young age.
It might seem silly but those sentiments I felt for my treasured fake jewels as a child are mirrored in my life as a grown woman. I don’t wear expensive jewelry — my engagement ring is by far the most valuable piece I own — but the earrings, necklaces, and bracelets I don most often are worn because I like the way they make me feel. Even on days that I don’t have on a drop of makeup, I still wear the Kate Spade earrings Justin bought me two Christmases ago because I feel pretty in them.
Baby did good that year as those baubles are my favorite and a staple in my wardrobe. Plus, they’re Kate Spade. You can never go wrong with a little Kate for the holidays. Actually, you can never go wrong with any piece of jewelry for the holidays.
Well, there you have it — my absolutely absurd and somewhat relatable adult Christmas wish list. Merry Christmas to all, and may all your holiday wishes come true.