Struggles from a Motherless Bride

He said, “I wish your mom were here.”

Me, too, dad. Me, too.

As the days push forward and my September wedding draws closer, I acknowledge that I am really struggling with my mom’s absence during this should-be happy time.

Wedding planning hasn’t been my thing, and I probably make everything about it 10-times more complicated than it has to be because that is who I am.

But, I think my lack of motivation to finish planning this major life event stems from the fact that my mom is not here to share this time with, and I wish more than anything that she could be.

The closer we get to the wedding, the more difficult her absence becomes. She should be here. A woman should have her mother to share the joy, excitement, stress, and weight of planning a wedding with.

It is weird that there are people in my life who never knew my mom, and never knew me before her death. Therefore, it is difficult for them to understand that there is something missing from my life as I plan my wedding because they have always known me as the person I am today.

They don’t understand that when they tell me they are going to do something and then they don’t do it, it makes things exponentially more complicated for me. I am out here on this limb, by myself, just trying to balance.

I am a motherless bride and nothing about that is simple. I want so badly to be able to enjoy this time, but my mom’s absence leaves me with no one to lay some of this burden on. And no one understands.

At this point, I would love a little relief from the stress and emotional pain, and for someone to just acknowledge that I am drowning over here.

I can’t stop thinking that if she were here, this would be an entirely different experience for me. And that is because it would be. She was a doer, she stuck to her word, and if there was a problem, she found a solution to it. She made things look easy and she fixed everything that went wrong.

And right now, I wish she were here.

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