Yes, you read that correctly! We are pregnant!
These are words I was certain I would never have the opportunity to say, but here we are. And Justin and I are over the moon excited to become parents.
After an entire year of trying to conceive followed by a miscarriage in January, I can honestly say that these first 12 weeks (well, 8 since we found out) of pregnancy have been the most beautiful, exciting, and terrifying moments I have ever experienced.
The fear of another loss has been paralyzing at times.
When my at-home pregnancy test came back positive, I actually sat on the news for an entire day before I told Justin. I needed some time to myself to process before I shared it with him.
I once had this romantic image in my head of what it would be like to tell my husband I was pregnant. I imagined we would be at home and I would come out of the bathroom with the positive test in my hand, he would kiss me, and, in our excitement, we would dance in our kitchen to some old Van Morrison song.
Finding out I was pregnant four months after a miscarriage changed all that. There was no music, no dancing. Just the two of us in our kitchen thinking the same thing: “It’s too early to get excited.”
So, we prayed to make it to our 8-week appointment (we miscarried at 6 weeks last time) where we would see the heartbeat.
We used these early weeks to enjoy our pregnancy, just the two of us, and waited until after our 8-week appointment to tell anyone. Doing so made this an extra special time for us as husband and wife.
8 weeks came and we were a nervous wreck going into our doctor appointment. But, we saw the flicker of our little babe’s heart beating on the ultrasound screen — a moment I will never forget.
I remember looking back at Justin to make sure he was seeing what I was seeing. We smiled at each other with the biggest ear-to-ear grins. Hands down, the most beautiful moment of my life to date.
At 8 weeks, baby was measuring exactly 8 weeks and had a strong heart rate of 160. We are due in January, 1 year after our first loss.
Our 12-week appointment was even more magical this past week as we heard the heartbeat for the first time. It’s true what people say, that sound is music to your ears.
Even as we head into our 13th week (and out of the first trimester), I still can’t believe at times that we actually are pregnant. We have wanted this for so long, and it feels like a dream. An absolutely wonderful dream.