Disney World, baby bumps, and the fear of being a motherless mother

Disney World, baby bumps, and the fear of being a motherless mother

I want a baby.

I have made this statement to myself and then out loud at different points over the past two years, and I mean it when I say it.

It’s difficult, though, when you want so badly to bring another life into this world but you know that your job will not provide you with the financial means or schedule flexibility needed to properly care for a tiny human.

So, you postpone turning your “want” into a “have,” and you take the necessary steps forward to plan for a future that includes children.

You find a new job — one that does grant you the peace of mind you need.

You move into a house, and though it might be small, it is perfect for bringing home your firstborn.

You finally get to a point where you and your partner feel ready to build a family.

You plan a vacation to Disney World and decide to make that trip the official baby-making kickoff.

Then, you return home, the excitement of vacation wears off, and you realize that planning for a baby when you’re a motherless daughter is more emotional than you ever imagined.

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Stop asking me when we’re getting married

It’s rude.

At least once a week I am faced with the tired question, “When are you getting married?” or “Why aren’t you married yet?” and I have to pull out my list of prepared responses:

  • “Justin hasn’t asked me.”
  • “When are you having another baby?”
  • “When you agree to pay for it.”
  • “Maybe we’re already married and nobody knows.”

Yes, we realize that after five years together it is the “expected” next step in our relationship. However, we’re not concerned about setting a wedding date, and you shouldn’t be either. What we are concerned about is paying our bills, planning our next big vacation and making a life together that’s full of adventure. There was a time when it didn’t bother me, but now I avoid people who I know will ask these questions.

Continue reading “Stop asking me when we’re getting married”