I Wasn’t Expecting This

I Wasn’t Expecting This

I penned this several weeks ago but never published it. Today, I revisited it, added to it, and decided to dump my heart into it.

Trying to conceive has been one of the most emotionally draining times in my life and my husband’s life, and I was not prepared for all of the ups and downs that come with it. And unless you’ve been through it, you absolutely cannot relate — sorry.  I have spoken to several women who also are struggling TTC or have struggled, and I know that I am not alone in the range of emotions I have experienced over the last (almost) year.

Like many of my more emotional pieces, I debated posting this because it is vulnerable and raw, and I acknowledge that not everyone likes to read that type of content. However, one of my favorite things about blogging is that, through my content, I am able to connect with people (some I have never even met) who are in similar life stages as me or have similar experiences.

What I do here on Dammit, Hali might seem silly to some, but to the ones who get it and relate to the things I share, I welcome you with an open heart. Hopefully this post finds its way to someone — who, like me — occasionally needs a reminder that they are not alone on this journey. 

. . . 

As I was stepping out of the shower this morning, I began thinking about all the events (vacations, weddings, celebrations, etc.) my husband and I have coming up in the next several months, and I immediately said to myself, “Damn, I really thought I would be pregnant for all of these things; I thought I would be pregnant by now.”

But, it turns out, that is not the case.

I wasn’t expecting this.

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Amazon Roundup /// 6 Things You Need If You Are TTC

Disclosure: Contains affiliate links. 

A few months ago I shared that my husband and I have been trying to conceive since December and so far haven’t had any success.

The last several months have been a rollercoaster ride of emotions and stress for both of us, but despite all of the negatives, it’s still an exciting time in our life together as we wait for a miracle (if you have ever been TTC, you know that a baby is, in fact, a miracle).

With that being said, here are the six things I keep stocked in my bathroom while we are trying for a baby. The best part is, they’re all available on Amazon Prime so I never have to physcially shop for them in the store. Whenever I’m running low on something, I simply submit my Amazon order and it arrives in two days!

Amazon Roundup-01

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Let’s Stay Home /// 10 Date Night Ideas You Don’t Have To Leave Your House For

Let’s Stay Home /// 10 Date Night Ideas You Don’t Have To Leave Your House For

My husband and I enjoy a nice night out on the town as much as anybody else, but we also find great joy in the times we create a date night from the comfort of our own living room.

Perhaps when we have children we will be wishing for a night away from the house. But right now, as a young married couple, we really, really enjoy staying home.

Like, a lot.

Therefore, I am always trying to think up new, fun things we can do at home together. Ya know, when you put your phones on silent, ignore social media, and just enjoy each other.

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What To Do When Your Best Friend Has A Baby (& How Not To Be Annoying)

What To Do When Your Best Friend Has A Baby (& How Not To Be Annoying)

{Photo credit: Alisha Rudd Photography}

A Collaboration between Dammit, Hali and The Big Blonde Brain

My friend over at The Big Blonde Brain (a lifestyle blog by Casey Sellers) just gave birth to her first baby, and in the months leading up to her due date, she and I got very close.

We spoke on the phone nearly every day and Casey felt comfortable enough to share some pretty graphic details of her pregnancy with me. So much so that I began joking I know Casey’s body better than my own.

That’s what best friends are for, though, right? She kept telling me, “I’m not going to let you go into this blind.” Which, I really do appreciate.

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Today, I Sat In My Office and Cried

Today, I Sat In My Office and Cried

{Photo credit: Alisha Rudd Photography}

As you read this, please take away these two things:

1.
Be kind to every person you meet. Everyone is fighting a battle no one else knows about.

2.
Please, please, please never ask a couple when they’re going to have a baby. That is one of the most personal and intimate questions you can ask, and you probably have no clue whether or not they’re dealing with infertility or other issues preventing them from getting pregnant. If someone offers up that information freely to you, so be it. But, please, never pry.


It is no secret that Justin and I have wanted children for quite some time now. I even wrote about it in 2015 after returning from Disney World.

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My Advice to You: Take the Trip

My Advice to You: Take the Trip

As my husband and I prepare to travel to California for our big vacation of the year, I can’t help but feel anxious about the cost of the trip at this exact time in our life.

I truly can’t help it. I am naturally a worrier, and traveling across the country while we are also in the process of buying our first home has my “worry-wart” instincts working overtime. This is despite the fact that we have been budgeting for this trip since late last year.

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A house divided: Democrat vs. Republican

A house divided: Democrat vs. Republican

One of my favorite questions that Justin, being the proud Republican that he is, gets asked by his family and friends is “How can you be with a Democrat?”

First off, that question is disgraceful and appalling, but the answer always is simple. Justin tells them that I am not just my political views; I am not just a Democrat. I am a strong, intelligent woman who has shaped my opinions based on my own experiences, and he is proud to have found someone who challenges him on many levels, but particularly in the political arena.

As election day creeps closer (Early Voting begins today in North Carolina) and heated political conversations are ending friendships left and right, I want to take a moment to discuss how our divided house has gotten through this volatile election season without calling it quits on our impending marriage.

One word: Respect. I’m not talking about Aretha Franklin’s R-E-S-P-E-C-T, find out what it means to me. No, I mean that each day I wake up I make the conscious decision to listen and take into consideration my partner’s political views and he does the same for me. I respect him as a human, therefore I respect his opinions even when I don’t agree with them. Yes, that means it is possible to disagree with someone but still respect them.

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Relationships on parade

WARNING: Offensive content ahead. Continue reading at your own risk. 

I understand and respect that not all relationships are the same — what keeps a friend’s relationships going probably won’t work for Justin and me, and that is OK. However, living in a time when social media is the end all be all of all things, there has been a steady rise in the amount of information we all share on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and whatever else is popular these days.

I feel like it has become an expectation to post relationship and family updates regularly to social media — if it’s not on Facebook, it’s not official — and I have reached a point in my life where I no longer agree with that. I’m not talking about the occasional “Hey, we’re on vacation!” post; I’m talking about the constant, almost daily updates people share. These posts usually have no value and are repetitive.

Lately, I have really been paying attention to the details of my life that I blast out on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter, and I try to think about what I share and why before I hit “post.”

I have cut back on the pictures of the two of us and the “cute” moments I share. Those are our memories and one day it occurred to me that sharing them with all our friends and family on Facebook and Instagram takes away their specialness. By posting to social media we’re inviting everyone in on what should have been special for just us. We have even been practicing putting our phones away at dinner and when we’re doing things together. Doing this has brought us closer because we’re not focusing our attention on “checking-in” somewhere or picking the best filter for a photo update of ourselves. We don’t need people to know we’re having fun for us to actually enjoy our time together.

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