Why You Should Do A First Look With Your Dad on Your Wedding Day

Why You Should Do A First Look With Your Dad on Your Wedding Day

I’m sure you’ve heard about couples who do a “first look.” You know, when the bride and groom choose to go against tradition and see each other before their wedding ceremony. Typically, it’s a private moment carved out in the hustle and bustle of the day for the groom to see his bride for the first time and have the wedding photographer capture his reaction.

My husband and I decided not to do a first look because I wanted him to see me in my dress for the first time walking down the aisle. I also had a little surprise planned for him  — I walked down the aisle to his favorite song.

However, I did do a first look with my dad, and it turned out to be one of the most memorable and precious moments of my wedding day.

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As a Motherless Daughter, How I Honored My Mom on My Wedding Day

As a Motherless Daughter, How I Honored My Mom on My Wedding Day

Eight years.

That is how long my mom has been gone. I was 19 — still a child — when she died in the early morning hours of July 27, 2009.

And when I say that her death was the defining moment of my young life, I mean it. There is not a day that passes that I don’t ask myself, “Would she be proud of me?”

That is a heavy, heavy weight to live under.

I have devoted many words on this blog to talking about losing my mom at a young age. Losing your mother before your life really begins changes you in ways that you don’t fully understand until you’re older and your life is more established.

For me, I realized that even though at 19 I felt grownup, 19 was, in fact, too young.

19 years was not enough time with my mom, and I learned what all motherless daughters come to know — the memories of times past aren’t what is most painful. What breaks your heart over and over is living through all the moments your mom won’t be there for — birthdays, college graduations, your wedding, the birth of your first child, etc.

That is why planning my wedding as a motherless daughter was awful at times. Your wedding and all of its chaotic planning and madness is just something your mom should be there for.

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Something Old, Something New, Something Borrowed, Something Blue

Something Old, Something New, Something Borrowed, Something Blue

When we began planning our wedding, there weren’t many traditions we were keen on keeping.

Cake cutting? No thanks. We’d rather just grab a cupcake and mingle with our guests.

Bouquet and garter toss? Nah. We’re in our late-20s and most of our friends are already married, so throwing out a bouquet or a garter that had been strapped to my sweaty leg all day didn’t appeal to us. Plus, we didn’t want to take away from dancing during the reception. We just wanted to party.

However, there were some traditions we couldn’t part with. Like not seeing each other before the ceremony, a first dance and dances with our parents, and, of course, my something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blue.

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